Many people with Aspergers Syndrome struggle to define or understand their emotions, especially at difficult times such as funerals. In his latest guest blog, Fionn Hamill, gives us a great insight into this

I am lucky enough to have not encountered much death in my life.

The first time I really felt affected by a death was by the death of Michael Jackson.
It was really sad because he was my favourite singer. I didn’t really know what to feel. But when I heard about HOW he died I got angry. As I a doctor should know how much medicine to give someone and what kind of medicine to give someone. That was a big bowl of mixed emotions for me.

A few years later my Granda died. It was really sad and I cried for a few seconds but in a way I was sort of happy because he was really old and life was becoming real tough for him. When he died we went up to my  uncle Eugene’s house for the wake. Seeing everyone else crying and sad made me feel sad as well.  I don’t cry but I do feel weird when everyone else does, and confused.It makes me feel strange.  But it was really fun day. But when I went up to see him my mood changed. I became really sad. He looked so cold and blue. When we went to the burial, it was  again a mixed bowl of emotions. After the burial we went to the pub and everyone cheered up. I had a great day! Plus Sunderland beat Arsenal!

During the summer my neighbours Granda died. I was quite sad but not really that sad because I don’t know him. I texted my neighbour and told him I know what it feels like to lose a relative and that after a while you cheer up. I think he felt better after that.
Recently my friend died by killing himself. That was really sad as he was bullied very badly and couldn’t take it any more. The next week at Panto practice we each lit a candle for him and everyone was crying. I mean everyone else. I didn’t. It was a really mixed bowl of emotions. On the last night of Panto, we lit Chinese lanterns in memory of my friend, which was really emotive,

Image courtesy of Tom Curtis /