Yvonne Newbold is a parent and advocate for those affected by Autism in the UK. Yvonne wrote a book entitled “The Special Parent’s Handbook” and provides workshops to special needs parents throughout the UK. A longtime friend of AsIAm.ie, Yvonne shares her top tips for the start of term…
The first few weeks of any school year for parents of a child with Autism can be daunting and unsettling, so what can we do to help make things go as well as they possibly can?
1. Trust your instincts – what are your real fears about what might go wrong, and what’s the worst thing that can happen? Whatever is uppermost on your mind is probably the one aspect of the new term which needs tackling first.
2. What about your child – have they got any obvious concerns or worries? Our children find it hard to communicate, particularly about feelings, so you may need to use visuals or a storybook with pictures about school, to get to the bottom of any anxieties they may have. Take their worries seriously, to them they are big and very real. Work out ways of helping them manage their concerns, maybe just by talking them through, or reassuring them, or telling the teacher about them.
3. Be positive about the new start with your child and in any conversation which they may be able to overhear – Our children often take their lead emotional lead from us – so make sure they go into school on that first day believing that Mum and Dad think everything will be OK.
4. How much does your child’s school already know about their autism and how it affects them in particular? – Has any extra support been put in place, and if so, what? Be clear about what the school has already agreed to do to help your child, so that you can act quickly if something appears to have been forgotten.
5. Has the school had copies of every relevant letter or medical report relating to your child’ diagnosis, including any Therapy reports? – Ask if the class teacher has seen them and had a chance to read them and understand what they mean in the context of a classroom?
6. What extra help do you think your child needs to get through the school day so that they are happy, engaged and calm? – Nobody knows your child like you do and no two children with autism have exactly the same problems. No matter how experienced the school is in dealing with ASD issues, they need your help in letting them know how autism affects your child. Drawing up a short checklist of the issues your child is likely to need help with can be useful, covering all these points and any other you feel might be relevant.
- Communication – Receptive and Expressive
- Sensory Issues – what sounds, smells, tastes, touch or sights, including lighting, are likely to be difficult for your child?
- Social issues – think about friendship issues, potential bullying, behaviour towards other children, social skills
- Break times – think about how your child might cope in the playground
- Meltdowns – both triggers and likely behaviours – is there a plan in place and are you happy with it?
- Anxieties – does the school understand the severity of any anxieties, and is there a plan in place that you’re happy with to manage them and help your child regain a sense of calm?
- Food issues – is your child going to be able to eat lunch at school, and if not, what strategies might help?
- Concentration – Can your child sit still for long periods, and if not, have movement breaks been discussed with the school?
- When it’s all too much – is there a quiet area your child can access?
7. School uniform – get your child to wear it for at least an hour or so before they start, so you can sort out any issues like itchy labels or stiff collars. The same goes with shoes – ASD children may need to “wear them in” beforehand.
8. Rehearse the morning routine – ASD children may need visual timetables to keep on track of getting ready, and help with transitions, moving quickly from one activity in the sequence to the next.
9. Don’t expect everything to go smoothly, it won’t, and there will be teething problems.
10. Work with the staff as much as you can – Agree the best way to communicate, and seek their agreement to meet during the second week of term to discuss any initial concerns.
11. Some teachers really “get” autism, and go the extra mile for our children – some are much less sensitive to our children’s needs. It can be really frustrating when it feels as if your concerns aren’t being listened to or understood properly, but getting upset or angry will make things worse, not better. Try and keep all communications calm and pleasant, no matter how hard it is.
12. Don’t be intimidated – if you feel something is going seriously wrong with your child’s experience at school, don’t stop until you are happy that it’s been resolved in a way that’s right for your child, no matter how far over a teacher’s head you have to go. Always remember that your child is the most important person in all of this. Never force a desperately unhappy child into school on a daily basis – they aren’t going to learn if they are distressed, and their self-confidence is too important to risk damaging. Some schools just won’t be the right fit for some children – always be willing to look at alternatives if your instinct tells you things aren’t working.
Most of all, keep the channels of communication open with everyone – your child, their teacher, and the other parents at the school gate – you can learn so much from other parents. With the right strategies in place and staff who have great attitudes, your child could make great progress between now and next summer – and be happy, positive and engaged in school. Here’s hoping! Good luck.
Yvonne Newbold is Author of The Special Parent’s Handbook, is an experienced speaker on issues regarding Childhood Disability and effective Partnership Working and has been named as one of the top 50 most influential women in Healthcare in the UK.
For more from Yvonne, see her website YvonneNewbold.com
Image courtesy of coward_lion / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
