Being a good enough parent to any child is tough, but also incredibly rewarding. Many parents can find it difficult to balance
the demands of supporting their autistic child, while at the same time giving equal attention to their other children. You are your autistic child’s biggest advocate for support, and this responsibility can take a lot of your time and energy.
Be mindful that your non-autistic child(ren) may need support too. It is understandable that your other children might at times feel a little lost or left-out. It is important to make them feel important and included.
The below are some helpful tips in supporting your non-autistic children:
Encourage your child to have their own passions/activities outside of the family home. This gives them some time to focus on themselves and a sense of achievement. Acknowledge their successes in these areas and support them in these achievements.
Make time for them. Ensure you “level the playing field” by ensuring each child has some alone time or ‘special time’ with
you to do something they enjoy. A top tip is to schedule this as protected time each week. Be sure to praise and thank your other children when they do something kind or demonstrate acceptance for their autistic sibling’s differences.
Be sure to praise and thank your other children when they do something kind or demonstrate acceptance for their autistic sibling’s differences.
Siblings of autistic children, unbeknownst to themselves, can take on a ‘mini-parent role’. They, like you, will also worry about their autistic sibling and feel obliged to act more mature or independent around them. These feelings and urges are all very natural and common experiences in autistic families. Ensure your non-autistic child knows they can talk to you about these feelings. If these experiences are negatively impacting on your non-autistic child, contact relevant professional support services, such as your local GP, to access relevant supports. Some communities have sibling groups
that your child might be interested in attending.
HELPING YOUR NEUROTYPICAL CHILD UNDERSTAND AUTISM
Your non-autistic child might not fully understand autism. It is important to take time to explain to them the differences and preferences of the autistic community and those of their sibling in particular, in an age appropriate way. It is important for them to understand why your family might be different and may do things differently from others. This type of conversation can help them understand their autistic sibling better and foster an environment of acceptance. There are many books available online that can help you to explain this to your child in an age appropriate way, such as: •
- ‘Autism in my family’ Sandra Tucker
- ‘What autism can be like’ Sue Adams
- ‘Y’know that kid?’ Noeleen Smith
- ‘The Awesome Autistic Go-To Guide A Practical Handbook for Autistic Teens and Tweens’ Yenn Purkis & Tanya Masterman
